Priorities
In 2008, after two years of failing to make a child organically, we learned the doom Kathy had already been feeling for more than a year was justified: I was diagnosed with male-factor infertility. Our only real chance to move forward would be in vitro fertilization. We couldn’t afford it; we couldn’t afford not to do it. One way we tried to work through that diagnosis, our anger, and our options was to start a secret infertility blog, “Less Than a Million.” This post and what comments from 2008 that are attached to it come from that blog.—gb
Perhaps I should qualify my equivocation. Here is a woman whose fertility specialist had her on Clomid for a month and now has her on daily hormone injections before even trying to discover whether her partner has any goods in his junk. I know Clomid only costs $4 at Wal-Mart, but is cheapness an adequate substitute for knowledge?
Comments
January 19, 2008
thejenniferblog / Jan 19, 01:48 PM
Excuse this post if I misunderstand you. Maybe you weren\'t meaning to sound judgmental...but just came out that way.Did you say our \"cheapness\" was the reason why we didn\'t have him tested first? That because clomid was \'only $4\', we did it that way? (which, btw, it wasn\'t for us...but who knew?)
If you are, you should get the full story before making blanket statements like this.
But that\'s the way I roll.
greg / Jan 19, 03:46 PM
I was thinking about doctors, actually. There is a long history of fertility specialists being eager to treat women and ignore men. I think that has in the past—and perhaps still today—led to many women being treated for infertility when, in fact, it would have been more honest and less financially and emotionally expensive to diagnose their partners honestly. The \"cheap\" bit was intended to contrast the $100 or so it costs to run a semen test vs. a $4 scrip for Clomid, and it was directed towards doctors. In retrospect, I did not make that clear at all.Anyway, I was not criticizing you—far from it. I dashed off this post quickly, and should have worked out a more thorough explanation before hitting \"Publish.\" I obviously do not know your story. My apologies for leaping to conclusions.
greg / Jan 19, 04:28 PM
But that’s the way I roll.I deserved that.
thejenniferblog / Jan 19, 08:33 PM
Oh great. You HAD to be nice when I wasn\'t.Now I feel like a heel.
I\'ve been trying doubly hard to not be the stereotypical \'emotional\' woman because of extra estrogen, etc. coursing through my system. Self-congratulatory feeling a little premature, huh?
Well, I\'m assuming you have been through this a lot longer than I/we. I don\'t know if doctors do or not. In my case, I assumed everybody thought someone else requested we do this...and kinda forgot about it...and not a monetary decision.
Okay...so you can ignore all of my comments now.
Back to our regularly scheduled program.
greg / Jan 19, 09:05 PM
NBD. I can admit when I made a mistake.In fact, we\'ve been seeing doctors about as long as you have: our first visit to the specialist was November 12. I\'m way behind K on all the research, particularly with respect to knowing the ways fertility drugs mess with women\'s bodies. It\'s of course something I need to learn before we begin our IVF cycles (which, for several reasons, we haven\'t a clue about now), but for now I\'ve just been reading up on fertility and fertility treatments in general...
January 20, 2008
thejenniferblog / Jan 20, 03:15 PM
Well, I wish y\'all the best of luck. May you be blessed with many a little ones.January 21, 2008
greg / Jan 21, 09:45 AM
And you, likewise.surrogatemother / Jan 21, 04:47 PM
I wish you all the best.Commenting is closed for this article.