Greg Bales

Limbo

In 2008, after two years of failing to make a child organically, we learned the doom Kathy had already been feeling for more than a year was justified: I was diagnosed with male-factor infertility. Our only real chance to move forward would be in vitro fertilization. We couldn’t afford it; we couldn’t afford not to do it. One way we tried to work through that diagnosis, our anger, and our options was to start a secret infertility blog, “Less Than a Million.” This post and what comments from 2008 that are attached to it come from that blog.—gb

We’re really in limbo right now. It’s been more than 2 months since we found out about Greg’s fertility problem, and several weeks since we decided that the best—and possibly only—way we’re going to be able afford IVF is to move to a state where infertility coverage, and specifically IVF coverage, is mandated by law.

So now here we are, hoping to move halfway across the country to live in a state neither of us has any experience with, in order to have a baby. Seems kind of crazy, but then again, we’ve come close to crazier. A year and half ago, we were about to move to a strange city in a strange state without a job lined up for either of us, just because we so desperate about our collective professional and financial future…even put a deposit down on an apartment (which we lost, of course)! But…we didn’t end up having to go through with it. (Who knows whether that was for the best…)

So now here we are, two barely mid-level “professionals,” hoping anyone in said strange state would find us attractive enough job candidates to want to move our butts a thousand miles to have us….And I just turned 34 (tick, tick, tick)…

So why do I feel so much better than I did a month ago, and the month before that, and the month before that? Is it because we’re almost 100% sure now what’s got to happen—we’ve got to try IVF one way or another, and it’s going to work, or, it’s not going to work? The questions remain: How are we going to get to that point? How long will it take? Will we have the financial resources and the emotional fortitude to make this happen?